Cordir's Songbook

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Notes: As the organizer of many a Bardic Circle, Cordir did not exempt herself from the requirement that everyone attending had to participate in some form or fashion. She wrote and performed many original or derivative works. Other favorites to perform, when she wasn’t in a creative mood, included everything from classic ballads such as “Come All Ye Fair and Tender Maidens,” to Barry White.

See Also: Cordir - Ebon Book for poems and creative works written as a mortal.

That Stormy Man

Original Composition, performed November 6, 2001.

Cordir takes center stage and curtseys low.
Cordir gets an ancient ebony lute set with sapphires from a bag of Yochlol hide.
Cordir seats herself, adjusts her robe modestly, and rests the lute upon her knee.
Cordir bows her head over her instrument, sliding her long braid of hair over one shoulder out of the way.
Cordir taps her foot to establish the rhythm.
Cordir strums a few merry, lively chords on an ancient ebony lute set with sapphires.

Cordir sings, 'Gather round, oh best beloved,'
Cordir sings, 'Gather round and hear my tale,'
Cordir sings, 'Gather round, oh best beloved,'
Cordir sings, 'Gather round this tiny dale.'

Cordir picks the strings quickly, the tune jaunting and bright.

Cordir sings, 'For a tale I'll spin for you, lads,'
Cordir sings, 'For a tale I'll sing for you.'
Cordir sings, 'And this tale is true, so true, lads,'
Cordir sings, 'Yes, this tale is true.'

Cordir sings, 'My tale is of a hero mighty,'
Cordir sings, "With his thumping oaken staff-es"
Cordir sings, "How this hero put to flight-y"
Cordir sings, "dozens of Conclavic ass..... "
Cordir pauses dramatically, but breaks into giggles.
Cordir sings, "...es... er... donkeys!!..."

Cordir grins mischievously and winks.
Cordir winks and for a moment, you see an image of Sol's Councilor chasing Aries to the ground.... THUD!WHACK!!SPLAT!! DEAD!

Cordir sings, 'For the right and for the weak, lads,'
Cordir sings, 'How this cleric fought and won'
Cordir sings, 'And for the ladies who would swoon, lads,'
Cordir sings, 'And reward when all was done!'

Cordir winks, but allows you NO peek at THAT image....
Cordir grins wickedly
Cordir dives into the chorus once more, the lute strings singing out.

Cordir sings, 'Gather round, oh best beloved,'
Cordir sings, 'Gather round and hear my tale,'
Cordir sings, 'Gather round, oh best beloved,'
Cordir sings, 'Gather round this tiny dale.'

Cordir pauses before the next verse and looks at the women present with a wicked smile.
Cordir flutters her lashes.

Cordir sings, 'Once, from wicked Midgaard town, girls,'
Cordir sings, 'Once, within those open gates,'
Cordir sings, 'Once, there lived oh such a man, girls,'
Cordir sings, 'But who caught him? Lady FATE!'

Cordir giggles and strums another chord while trying to regain her composure and stop grinning so big she can't sing.

Cordir sings, 'For she knew that big blue fighter'
Cordir sings, 'Was quite skilled with his thick staff'
Cordir sings, 'It was his talent as a rhymer'
Cordir sings, 'That made her giggle, gasp and laugh'

Cordir says as an aside, 'actually, it's his quatrains.. and they make me all gooey-brained and happy-hearted....'
Cordir smiles and sighs, remembering happily.
Cordir blinks and gets back to her song.

Cordir sings, 'For that man is the Stormreaver'
Cordir sings, 'Humbly, though, just call him Abe,'
Cordir sings, 'Now reborn, yet still believe-her'
Cordir points to herself.
Cordir sings, 'That stormy man is quite a babe!'

Cordir giggles and ends the song with a flourish on the lute.
Cordir curtseys jauntily to her audience and blows a kiss to that not-so-distant inspiration.

Fated Children of the Pattern

(Melody based on “Donna Donna,” by Sholom Secunda, performed February 5, 2002.)

Cordir gets a lute of carved ebony with silver strings from a bag of Nevyn hide.
Cordir quickly tunes the instrument, then settles it against her body.
Cordir glances around, then begins to play a simple, lilting melody.

Cordir sings softly, "In this Realm of blood and honor"
Cordir sings softly, "There's a few that are Chosen well"
Cordir sings softly, "Proud and stalwart, they adventure,"
Cordir sings softly, "braving ocean, or sky, or hell"

Cordir sings softly, "How the Threads are woven,"
Cordir sings softly, "Intwined each in their turn"
Cordir sings softly, "Warp and woof, the Pattern's bound"
Cordir sings softly, "and share all that they've learned."

Cordir strums the chorus.
Cordir sings softly, "Fated children of the Pattern"
Cordir sings softly, "Serving Weaver, Wyrm and Wyld"
Cordir sings softly, "Fated children of the Pattern"
Cordir sings softly, "Serving others with a smile"

Cordir sings softly, "In this Realm of blood and honor"
Cordir sings softly, "There are those with a blackened soul"
Cordir sings softly, "Walking midst the shadowed places"
Cordir sings softly, "Death and loss their greatest goal"

Cordir sings softly, "Yet Threads are e'r re-woven,"
Cordir sings softly, "Each life, death and rebirth in turn"
Cordir sings softly, "Warp and woof, the Pattern's bound"
Cordir sings softly, "But hate the soul it ever burns"

Cordir sings softly, "In this Realm of blood and honor"
Cordir sings softly, "There are some that the legends say"
Cordir sings softly, "Have returned to Pattern's binding"
Cordir sings softly, "Walk this earth in modern day"

Cordir sings softly, "How the Threads are woven,"
Cordir sings softly, "Some souls they are reborn"
Cordir sings softly, "Warp and woof, the Pattern's bound"
Cordir sings softly, "Their hearts are sometimes torn"

Cordir strums the chorus once more.
Cordir sings softly, "Fated children of the Pattern"
Cordir sings softly, "Serving Weaver, Wyrm and Wyld"
Cordir sings softly, "Fated children of the Pattern"
Cordir sings softly, "Serving others with a smile"

Cordir sings softly, "In this Realm of blood and honor"
Cordir sings softly, "There's a Lady who loves her own"
Cordir sings softly, "Fiery tempered, oft outspoken"
Cordir sings softly, "Ty's own oath should be on loan"

Cordir sings softly, "How the Threads are woven,"
Cordir sings softly, "The Lady's place regained"
Cordir sings softly, "Warp and woof, the Pattern's bound"
Cordir sings softly, "And Fate's place is reclaimed"

Cordir strums the chorus one last time.
Cordir sings softly, "Fated children of the Pattern"
Cordir sings softly, "Serving Weaver, Wyrm and Wyld"
Cordir sings softly, "Fated children of the Pattern"
Cordir sings softly, "Serving others with a smile"

The Outcasting

(Original Composition, performed August 26, 2003)

Cordir chants, 'The chaos-touch, each cycle turns'
Cordir chants, 'But watch and know what Weaver learns'
Cordir chants, 'Wyrm in balance, tween the two'
Cordir chants, 'Chaos, order, through and through'
Cordir chants, 'In surgeon's hands, a blade can heal'
Cordir chants, 'The poison found, and taint revealed'
Cordir chants, 'Raging fires by lightning sparked'
Cordir chants, 'Thus is new growth oft' embarked'
Cordir chants, 'But when unchecked, these things can shake'
Cordir chants, 'the Pattern Three are bound to make'
Cordir chants, 'The hounds not heeled to any will'
Cordir chants, 'And anguish, anger, Pattern fills'
Cordir chants, 'The FoLK all heed the Lady's call'
Cordir chants, 'Sweet, gentle Clue holds them in thrall'
Cordir chants, 'And Fate's own hand, both cruel and kind'
Cordir chants, 'Guides all those sworn in Weaver's bind'
Cordir chants, 'But no whip curbs the Hunt's mad pack'
Cordir chants, 'And reaving, acts, with sense's lack'
Cordir chants, 'Wyld's glory found in deeds ere foul'
Cordir chants, 'The Pattern knows their lies beguile'
Cordir chants, 'Yet in this Weave, all has its place'
Cordir chants, '*IF* all Incarna lead with grace'
Cordir chants, 'Alas, alack, no longer true'
Cordir chants, 'Her duty failed to noisome crew'
Cordir chants, 'By Weaver's Hand, the gift undone'
Cordir chants, 'And thus the Tapestry is spun'
Cordir chants, 'Once Wyldess stained to her core'
Cordir chants, 'Katrana named Azat no more.'
Cordir chants, 'Yet stars in place in Heavens shine'
Cordir chants, 'Gods hear my voice no more than thine'
Cordir chants, 'Solely in these words, her doom,'
Cordir chants, 'This thread no more upon the loom'
Cordir chants, 'Within the Pool, Incarna stirs'
Cordir chants, 'The Wyld re-bound, the geas incurred'
Cordir chants, 'The Skein to spin, the shuttle cast'
Cordir chants, 'Let true Wyld's servant come to pass'
Cordir chants, 'And in this rhyme, praise to the Three..'
Cordir chants, 'So shall I Weave. So mote it be.'


The Raven’s Song

(Based on “The Three Ravens” – English Traditional Ballad: Performed at a Bardic Circle and impromptu, over Ftell, on 04/17/2005.)

Cordir gets an ebon lute inlaid with silver from the surrounding darkness.
Cordir caresses the shadows, and blinks away tears, bidding them fade.
Cordir quickly tunes the instrument, then settles it against her slender hip.
Cordir looks up at the audience, but finds one pair of eyes and meets them.
Cordir says, 'This song is dedicated to a friend, who speaks with honesty or not at all.’
Cordir says, 'And while I may not always like what she says, or agree, I always listen.’

Cordir nods once, then begins to play, the melody slow and lamenting.
Cordir begins singing in a soft, husky voice.

Cordir sings, "there was a raven sat on a tree,"
Cordir sings, "down a down, hey down, hey down”
Cordir sings, "and he was black as he might be,”
Cordir sings, "with a down.”
Cordir sings, "With crimson eyes a-full of hate"
Cordir sings, "And hope and joy his goal to take"
Cordir sings, "With a down, "
Cordir sings, "derry, derry, derry down, down. "

Cordir strums the interlude.

Cordir sings, "Down amidst the lands below"
Cordir sings, "Down a down, hey down, hey down"
Cordir sings, "A Lady and her Chosen go"
Cordir sings, "With a down."
Cordir sings, "Their hearts, a higher path to go,"
Cordir sings, "But bitter Raven is their foe"
Cordir sings, "With a down, "
Cordir sings, "derry, derry, derry down, down. "

Cordir strums the interlude.

Cordir sings, "His anger burns within his breast"
Cordir sings, "Down a down, hey down, hey down"
Cordir sings, "and so he lives to be her test"
Cordir sings, "With a down."
Cordir sings, "He schemes and laughs to see her pain"
Cordir sings, "For if she weeps it is his gain"
Cordir sings, "With a down,"
Cordir sings, "derry, derry, derry down, down. "

Cordir strums the interlude.

Cordir sings, "He does not hunt prey openly"
Cordir sings, "Down a down, hey down, hey down"
Cordir sings, "But looses the dogs and set them free"
Cordir sings, "With a down."
Cordir sings, "The rabid hounds to nip her heels"
Cordir sings, "And with each bite the pain she feels"
Cordir sings, "With a down, "
Cordir sings, "derry, derry, derry down, down. "

Cordir strums the interlude.

Cordir sings, "Tis jealousy that twists his soul"
Cordir sings, "Down a down, hey down, hey down"
Cordir sings, "To destroy joy, that is his goal"
Cordir sings, "With a down."
Cordir sings, "But love stands strong against that hate"
Cordir sings, "Her wounds are healed by wing'ed Fate"
Cordir sings, "With a down, "
Cordir sings, "derry, derry, derry down, down. "

Cordir strums the interlude.

Cordir sings, "The raven snarls upon his tree"
Cordir sings, "Down a down, hey down, hey down"
Cordir sings, "Foiled by Handmaid of the Three"
Cordir sings, "With a down."
Cordir sings, "His mind casts round for barbs to throw"
Cordir sings, "And in his breast the hatred grows"
Cordir sings, "With a down,"
Cordir sings, "derry, derry, derry down, down. "

Cordir strums the interlude.

Cordir sings, "How ends this song so dark so true"
Cordir sings, "Down a down, hey down, hey down"
Cordir sings, "The Pattern knows, she'll see it through"
Cordir sings, "With a down."
Cordir sings, "The 'Maiden's strength, a saving grace"
Cordir sings, "At Lady's side, she guards her place"
Cordir sings, "With a down, "
Cordir sings, "derry, derry, derry down, down. "

Cordir lays her hand upon the strings to silent them, and nods once.
Cordir returns the lute to the surrounding shadows, curtseys, and takes her place.

Triat is a Twisting Path

Cordir begins softly chanting, her body swaying slightly.

Cordir says, 'Triat is a shifting Path'
Cordir says, 'Balance 'tween the Three'
Cordir says, 'Pattern woven with each soul'
Cordir says, 'Their place is plain to see'

Cordir says, 'Learning is the Wyrmling's Path'
Cordir says, 'Led by cherished Clue'
Cordir says, 'Fellowship opens their hearts'
Cordir says, 'To all those that are true'

Cordir says, 'Kindred blood and noble souls'
Cordir says, 'Sanguine bonds and love'
Cordir says, 'Bind the FoLK from one to all,'
Cordir says, neath blessed Wyrm above'

Cordir says, 'Triat is a war-torn Path'
Cordir says, 'Imbalance 'tween the Three'
Cordir says, 'Pattern woven with each soul'
Cordir says, 'Their place is plain to see'

Cordir says, 'Chaos is the Hunter's rede'
Cordir says, 'Hounds pursue their prey'
Cordir says, 'Wielding shears, the Wyld cuts'
Cordir says, 'Each Thread in Her own way'

Cordir says, 'Blood, it stains the Hunting Lodge'
Cordir says, 'where the Hounds reside'
Cordir says, 'Battle prowess, fleet pursuit'
Cordir says, neath moonlight as they ride'

Cordir says, 'Triat is an entwined Path'
Cordir says, 'Bound around the Three'
Cordir says, 'Pattern woven with each soul'
Cordir says, 'Their place is plain to see'

Cordir says, 'Honor is the Weaver's Way'
Cordir says, 'Courage for the task'
Cordir says, 'Chosen serve the greater whole'
Cordir says, 'Enduring to the last'

Cordir says, 'Ebon fire in Lady's gaze'
Cordir says, 'Eyes that naught escapes'
Cordir says, 'Honored by the oath of those'
Cordir says, 'That each embraced their Fate.'

The Weaver's Bind

In days of chaos, stars align
Sacred things are wove in Trine
Thus brings forth the Weaver's Bind

Roots grew deep in Coven's earth
Majere arose from mortal birth
Ascended high, to greater worth

Bliss, the Queen of Ashen Night
Coven's mistress, Hunter's blight
Weaves her spells to all's delight

Weaver in Her webs observes
Chosen Fate the Lady serves
Weaving that which is deserved

All shall know what Weaver sees:
Three as One and One as Three
The spell is cast, so mote it be

The Way of Nash

(As evidence that YES, there is poetry praising Nash
that has nothing to do with bodily functions...)

Wisdom is the Way of Nash, brought by Nash's Son
Teaching us His Father's words until all souls are won

Power is the Way of Nash, lives and blood His due
Darkness is the Conclave's Path, and to that Path they're true

Subtle is the Way of Nash, cunning wins His prey
Mystery the Jhereg's trade from which they will not stray

Chaos is the Way of Nash, this the Watchers learn
Ways to send more souls to Him and feast on all they've earned

Knowledge is the Way of Nash, new are those in truth
Chiselhammer's Clan prepares a path for those of youth

Honor is the Way of Nash, worship through Good deeds
Calls the Fellowship to Him to clarify His needs

Glory is the Way of Nash, Asia sought to gain
Cauldron boils over with a seething draught of Pain.

Cruel is the Way of Nash, some fail along the way
Beelze is found within a Pit up to this very day.

Quiet is the Way of Nash, Spirits turn within
Playful Nakka guides his folk so different from their kin

Brutal is the Way of Nash, practiced by the Draoi
Saplings watered by spilled blood, filled with unholy joy

Wisdom is the Way of Nash, Circle bound by choice
Led by Schwartz's gentle hand, and praising with one voice

Magic is the Way of Nash, Phantom guides their path
Magi serve His just commands, each studying the Craft

Perfect is the Way of Nash, sought by all these ways
Shows His face to each in kind, a different way to praise

The Two Departed

Sorc'ry wrought 'neath Ashen Moon
A vow between three friends
Two stand lost, to outworld doom
Their like, 'neer seen again

The Booga joked, but also taught
His Darklings bound by love
Those Volunteered or those they fought
Respected Him above.

My heart, bereft, but yet, my pain
A shred of what Theirs' felt
When Darkness fell, the Coven gained
At Bliss' feet they knelt

Her Coven forces changed the land
Bliss led with playful whim
Her council, often cursed or damned;
Those legends n'er will dim.

Yet twice they've lost that solemn vow
They swore to those who led
Some swear they'll join no others now
Some whisper their heart's dead.

And into ebon shadows go
Some now shall fade away
Their names remembered high and low
Just memories will stay

But as is said by deathbeds all
By grieving hearts bereft
The lost remain in mind's recall
By all those that are left.

The Coven, Darkness, Fate entwined
Alliance forged in trust
We three declared by Weaver's Bind
That vow was often cussed. :-)

Yes, Three were bound, by more than oaths:
By friendship, tried and true
None our like: that is no boast
Forever - I'll miss you. :-(

Before I Rift At You Again

(Based on “Before I Gaze At You Again” from the musical, ‘Camelot’.)
Performed April 2, 2002.

Cordir sings, ‘Before I rift at you again'
Cordir sings, ‘I'll need a time for beers'
Cordir sings, ‘Before I rift at you again'
Cordir sings, ‘Let 'ouches' turn to cheers'
Cordir sings, ‘You have so much ... '
Cordir sings, ‘Healing to do...'
Cordir sings, ‘Before I try ... '
Cordir sings, ‘To Rift again ... '
Cordir sings, ‘At you...'
Cordir sings, ‘Stay away until you (cough) me off,'
Cordir sings, ‘barely once a day'
Cordir sings, ‘Stay away until my heart is soft,'
Cordir sings, ‘And I smile and say...'
Cordir sings, ‘That I won't rift at you again'
Cordir sings, ‘Without a darned good cause'
Cordir sings, ‘My mana shines like new again'
Cordir sings, ‘Your health is without flaw'
Cordir sings, ‘Stay far away,'
Cordir sings, ‘Oh wretch, far away'
Cordir sings, ‘Til I forget, '
Cordir sings, ‘I rifted you today....'
Cordir sings, ‘todayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy'
Cordir sings, ‘today!!!!!'

Of Mastery

Ancient times and ancient oaths
brought fourth a test of Three
Tasks for Weaver, Wyrm and Wyld
Perseverance is the key

First to oath, a shaman wise,
took on a shadowed path
Learning all the thiefly ways
while feeling hunger's wrath

Ivarr walked the world in whole
and fought three mighty foes
Pestis plagued, and slew and laughed,
spreading Wyld as she goes.

Huey's oath swore not to kill,
yet rage burned in his breast
He tried yet failed for Weaver's wrede
And thus he failed his quest.

Ebon bard was Cordir's name
The gift of Ebon's Lord
Vampires to find and then to slay
And all without a word

Nyx, the first, of Second Age
The Shadow stripped of stealth
Guildmasters found and slain in threes
And lore gained, more than wealth

Forbidden flight, T'sarran swore
to bring three things their death
A dragon, statue, and one of the Spire
Yet failed was Weaver's Test.


A mino took up tasks and vows
A student he would take
Adept rank and death to nine
But failure was his fate.

A gnome stood forth, eyes clear and true,
Quiet love then named his pain
Denied the courage in his soul
but Mastery brought great gain.

Ice Princess sought to lead on high
But Mastery called her first
Death to Scar and marriage vows
With quest complete, rebirth.

Her lover sought to walk the same
And elven visage shed
As Ogre fought and sought and learned
but failure, Wyld wed.

Another tried, and Mastery failed
Her Star no longer bright
The Trial's purpose not embraced,
Failure without a fight.

Now Weaver's pride steps forth to swear
and Master all those tasks
She battles hard, her vows to keep,
Persevering through the last.

The Trial's not a thing for all
Each test, the bind of Three
So those who think to take it up
Just heed these words from me

If Triat Mastery you would seek
Speak first to those who swore
They fought and found the courage true,
Above their doubts, they soared.


(Unfinished)

The sands of time slip quickly through an hourglass unseen
And though I ever persevere, I’m ever caught between
The past, the future, all entwined; My yesterdays’ today
The weight of countless thousand years are barely held at bay

I’ve watched as Threads were spun and cut, re-woven in their time,
An instrument of greater pow’r, and not by will of mine
Each life a note within a chord, a greater harmony
The bright, the true, the dark, the vile, are given me to see

I tend my task, each thread with care, the Tapestry to weave
Some wander sole, and others bond, and others take their leave
Yet some return, the bonds too tight to simply leave behind
And take up old relationships, both joyful and unkind

The Song of Isolas

Gather round, and pray attend, as I sing a little round
Of Isolas, the elven mage, and the trouble that he found.
First drawn within the Tel-Quessir, Myronides’ fold
He learned of elven arrogance, and yes, his mouth was bold.
Then Fate’s web ensnared his soul, and while there, he was wed
Fickle woman broke his heart, but Weaver, his soul fed
The mighty seas they sang to him, he sought to meet his fate
On salt-slick decks he battled there, Vahzlune he sought to bait.
And sailors bold fell to his spells, and so he took their lead
Thus Captain of the Pirate Ship, in thought and act and deed.
The Darkness then embraced this elf, and Kerri fed his rage
And broken heart made harder still, the world became his stage
Flocks of elfchicks scampered ‘round the Guild when he was there
And Captain’s parrot squawked enough to gather every stare.
But one keen eye saw through the masks, that pain inside creates
And one voice whispered soft to him that honor, courage takes
Then Weaver’s hand reached out to him, and healed that wounded soul
And taught him to look inward more and how to reach a goal.
And now the wheel of time has turned, now back to those first days
Of joy in magic’s power and flow and teaching magic’s ways
For wisdom tempered elven heart, Ascension forged the steel
If Isolas you would give oath, then magic’s price you’ll feel.
So if a Magi’s lore you seek, then lofty Tower find
For within its marble halls dwell those of your own kind.

Untitled


What is a bird without a wing?
What is a wave without a shore?
What of the melody without the wind to carry it?
What of the the tree without the earth to anchor it?
What becomes of the ship without a Captain?
What becomes of the fire without fuel?

What am I, without him?

Shattered:

shattered like glass, I sought to un-contain
cast away that which could not be,
Unwilling to be the blade that bled another
embracing nothingness and the Void
Becoming that which I was not -
the end of the path untaken
Rebirthing, Remaking, Recreating
Cutting my Self to ribbons
All to escape the inescapable
To erase the unerasable
To cease to be the unattainable
Flesh and spirit remembered
When rewritten tale could not
Unhealed wounds revealed the cause
Oaths bound in blood unbroken
Crimson auras, ebon flames, indifference
Could only cloak and conceal
Build false walls where no foundation could hold
Storm winds blew them down,
Ice cold cracking the stones one by one
Voices of reason - the singer, the tree, the Taoiseach
Undoing the ultimate abomination
better to embrace the pain, savor the wound,
whole and hurt, than unknowing and thought healthy
Answers sought: The path taken by friends, to Dark manor tread.
The tome obtained, the cost great.
Foulest of enchantments
bane to the touch
blight to leaf and branch
By spell ensnared, the blindness falls, tears of blood wept
Fell and foul the words of the curse
Once, unknowing, spell uttered by Arch-Lich
Once, knowing, willing desecration by Weaver
Into six shards had been broken -
Cast away to those places that sourced them
regathered, one by one, by the one who shared them
Kept hidden and safe 'til time of awakening
Two times, what was lost has been regained:
Once, the boon begged, soon after a Healing
Twice, through misdeed, the Sepoid unknowing
Now, at last, remainder obtained
Shall they be set into place, the broken restored,
and full loss known? Or remain enshadowed?
There can be only one path for Alak-Nasha:
The unknown, known once more, the heart ever broken

Today: An Acknowledgement


Let Webs fall away as they will:
Today I remember a loss that spans
Centuries and service
Laughter and loyalty
Prayers and piracy

Let Towers crumble as they will:
Today I acknowledge a loss that spans
Faith and friendship
Ritual and rescue
Intangibles and untouchables

Let Storm winds howl as they may:
Today I witness a loss that spans
Silence and slumber
Obfuscation and oblivion
Madness and memory

Today, I mourn.

A Song of Oook

(This was performed while incognito, and is included here only as historical documentation.)

Have you ever heard the tale
Of Oook, the Ogre Bard?
He bellowed songs aplenty,
and he beat his drum quite hard.

Rememberer of Skull Top,
but still, he found new clan
Found a home among the few,
Fate's Chosen of the land

He braved debate with Keller,
on o-gre morality
and the wilds beyond the ghosts:
Explore' So-ci-e-ty!

Blood and gore, he proudly wore,
Marks of vi-ri-li-ty,
Sang Songs of Power and he learned
The sacred names of Three

His songs brought tears of laughter
and His songs brought smiles of joy
He sang of bonsai beasties -
(Was not named for monkey noise)

Sang he songs of Squishy Things,
and Triat Mas-te-ry
He sang of Fire and Darkness,
Shiny fishes in the sea

He sang of Mighty Head-Foots
and he sang of mucky swamps
He taught us ogre nursery rhymes
and proper Demon Stomps

One fan stood out, above most all,
A button Worn With Pride
Graced the breast of Kindred minx
Her sup-port undenied.

He might be missing most of teeth,
His visage might a'fear
But to all he ever met,
Our Oook was dearest dear

Though many came thereafter,
- And four became first rate -
Yet none could match the passion
of the Ogre Bard of Fate



The Fateful Ride of Uncle Mitchell May

(This was performed while incognito, and is included here only as historical documentation.)

Sitting here, I grumble at this awful pale expanse
Quill clutched within my fingers, pooling ink-stains on my pants
With furrowed brow and clench of teeth, I hollar at my muse
And wonder why my epic tale seems more like strangest news:

"It started back, before the war, with Uncle Mitchell May,
Who, despite his wooden teeth, was thought catch of the day
He'd squired all the ladies near - including some were wed
Always slipping out by dawn, and never caught in bed.

But Auntie Myrtle fixed her eyes on this unwilling prize
And so she took upon herself a most surprising guise
Knowing how young Mitchell loved to steal a kiss then flee
She dressed herself up as a horse, with short and knobby knees

She waited in the stable, having turned his steed to grass
And when he raced into the stall, he leapt up on her ...
Down they tumbled, all entwined, their limbs thrown all akimbo
Her mask came off, her hair fell down, she looked quite like a bimbo.

"Oh, Sir!" she cried, "You have despoiled my reputation pure!"
And blinking, he responded quick, "Uh, are you really sure?"
Sure that she had caught her prize, Aunt Myrtle she declared:
"Of course I am, you rascal mine, my assets have you bared!"

The priest was called, the dress prepared, the formal banns were read
And on that summer morning, Uncle Mitchell's vows were said
So here's my warning, to you lads, that ever go a'woo'ing
Make sure the steed you wish to ride is one that's really moving!"